Stories of the Road, issue 31: The Fonts of Scottsdale

The Sunday night before my first trip to Arizona, I checked the local temperature in Scottsdale at 10 PM.  It was 95 degrees.

Luckily, it's a dry heat, and yes, that makes a difference.  One of the locals told me that their heat index sometimes drops below the real temperature.  This is unheard of in Chicago, where humidity is a malevolent force and the heat index can be likened to the Terror Alert Level (except you actually give a shit about the heat index).

Arizona's insect population is more hoary and nightmarish than that of any state I've visited so far.  My coworker went househunting in the area and spotted three black widows in a single home, nearly walking face-first into a web on the way in the front door.  (An indigenous welcome mat, maybe?)  Housing divisions invade areas with high scorpion populations, but the original tenants are too stubborn to move.  Scorpions glow under black light, and many new homeowners are surprised by what turns up in a black light scan of the backyard.

After hearing stories like these, I was afraid to sit on the ground to stretch after my evening run.  I could only imagine how welcoming the open leg of my shorts looks to a scorpion.

The local flora are no more benign.  I gently touched the spines of a cool-looking cactus and my friend laughed condescendingly before describing the skin irritation and inflammation those spines can cause.  Chill out, Arizona nature!

Two weeks into this assignment, I'm starting to see why people live here: the evenings are 75 degrees and usually rainless, and locals tell me that this moderate weather sticks around all winter while snow plows patrol the streets of Chicago.  Summer precipitation comes in the form of thunderheads that rain furiously for 15 minutes but put on a spectacular lightning show as a prologue and epilogue to their visit.  The buildings are new and polished, and their low profile allows for fantastic views of extended sunsets.

The Southwestern aesthetic is ubiquitous.  Color schemes waver within the bounds of beige and red.  Most of the fonts look like they were lifted from a Chili's menu.  Sand, rocks, and intimidating cacti are the norm.

 

Two quick plugs:

1. Lucy's book, French Milk, is now available for pre-order on Amazon.com!  The new & improved version has lots more pages and contains even more John Horstman than before.  How much more?  Buy it and see!
2. My friend Lane made a 3-minute film for the Chicago Film Race, and because his film is rad it was picked to be one of the top 10 finalists.  Please watch it and hopefully vote for it here.  It's titled "Tomorrow."  Click on the picture of the sunrise.

Writing about writing

Hi, all.  About two weeks ago, my lungs turned into the La Brea tar pits, and I've been a wheezing bag of slime ever since.  Luckily, in between games of Super Mario Galaxy and meals of greasy breakfast foods, I've found a few interesting things to read.  Here are two pieces I'd recommend to anyone interested in dusting off the old quill and inkwell.

Through Merlin Mann's wonderful blog on 43folders.com, I found a short essay by Kurt Vonnegut entitled, "How to Write With Style."  The entire article is here and you can read it in 5 minutes if you don't get distracted - more difficult than it sounds while at your computer, I know - but I'll summarize it for the convenience of those short on time or up too late (like me).

1. Find a subject you care about
2. Do not ramble, though
3. Keep it simple
4. Have guts to cut
5. Sound like yourself
6. Say what you mean
7. Pity the readers

My favorite line from the piece is the last paragraph for point 5:

I myself find that I trust my own writing most, and others seem to trust it most, too, when I sound most like a person from Indianapolis, which is what I am. What alternatives do I have? The one most vehemently recommended by teachers has no doubt been pressed on you, as well: to write like cultivated Englishmen of a century or more ago.

For those with lengthier attention spans, take a look at The Elements of Style, by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White.  (Coincidentally, I was about halfway through this book when I read the Vonnegut essay, which recommends Elements of Style at the end.)  The advice is more mechanical & dry: omit needless words, use the active voice, keep related words together, etc.  These guidelines are linked by the book's central theme: writing should be clear and vigorous.  Strunk best expresses this idea with four words, elegantly practicing what he preaches: every word must tell.  There's also a great analogy in there about how there are no unnecessary lines in a drawing, so why should there be unnecessary words in a book; unfortunately, my copy of the book is 1,700 miles away right now (Stories of the Road returns soon!) so I can't quote it exactly.

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Lucy & I collaborated on a comic!  I wrote it based on a true story about our internet French lessons.  Guess which version is mine and which is hers.

Efficiency expert in training

OK, so I've blogged about productivity a few times before.  This time, though, I'm going to pass along some useful information instead of just talking about how great GTD is.  Here are three of my favorite efficiency tips from three of my favorite efficiency gurus.

1. Batch your tasks (from Tim Ferriss's The 4-Hour Workweek) - This one is pretty intuitive: buy all your groceries at the same store, run all your errands on the same car trip, cook enough food at once that you can eat the leftovers for days, etc.  Extending this idea to the web, you could also write all of your email replies in one sitting or check for updates to your favorite sites all at once, and no more than once a day for either of these activities.
2. Process your email inbox to zero (from Merlin Mann's Inbox Zero talk) - My personal email inbox currently contains zero emails.  Same for my work inbox.  Every time you check your email, process every single message and clear out your inbox.  Processing means performing one of five actions: delete, delegate, respond, defer, do.  As Merlin says, deleting is the most underused of these options.
3. Define your next action (from David Allen's GTD) - For every item on your to-do list, write down the next physical action you must take in order to "do" that item.  Let's say you lost your driver's license today, like I did (true story).  Instead of "renew driver's license," your to-do list would first contain "look up nearest DMV on internet," then once that was complete, "call DMV at 312-793-1010 to find out what to bring to get new driver's license."  This is great advice for unsticking a project that has been stuck for a while.

Also, puppets!  Lucy & I made this video before she left for vacation.  First in a series, maybe?

Euphoric nostalgia

In her latest book, What It Is, Lynda Barry provides methods, exercises and general motivation for getting your creative juices flowing.  Large portions of the book are dedicated to memories: What is a memory?  What is the past?  Where (and why) do we keep bad memories?  Why are memories important?  A few recent blasts from the past have had me thinking over these questions.

I downloaded a fan-subbed version of the first Rebuild of Evangelion movie.  For those who don't know, I was a huge anime fan in college and Neon Genesis Evangelion is my favorite series - hell, it's pretty much my favorite anything.  Books, albums, movies... I have to admit that my #1 spot remains shamefully devoted to a Japanese cartoon from 1996.

The new Eva movies are a reanimating/retelling of the original story: about 3/4 of the scenes remain basically the same, but look nicer and sometimes have computer-animated additions.  Of course, this means 1/4 of the scenes are (shudder of spine-tingling anticipation)... NEW.

Here's the great part: they didn't fuck things up with the new stuff.  (Are you reading this, George Lucas?)

It was awesome.  It was so awesome.  For 97 minutes, I was bursting with this feeling that was a combination of nostalgia and euphoria; I don't know of any English word to adequately describe it, but we could damn sure use one.  I was literally giggling when I paused the movie halfway through to polish off the remains of our pantry's cookie stash.

When the new X-Files movie came out earlier this summer, Lucy went through the same thing: almost two hours of fantasy bliss, revived straight from her adolescence.

It's a rare privilege to be transported so completely back into your past by something brand new.  When I was watching that movie, I felt the Evangelion feeling; there's no other way for me to define it.

Three more Eva movies are planned for release over the next 2-3 years.  Funny to realize that I already know exactly how I'll feel when I watch those as well.

Antitheist? Moi?

My personal organization & productivity streak is still rolling. I worship zealously at the altar of GTD, and I'm working hard to internalize the dogmas of Tim Ferriss & Merlin Mann. Feeling confident in my knowledge of modern productivity theory, I recently decided to pick up a slightly older (1989) but still immensely popular advice book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey.

My favorite points so far:

• True communication comes from a commitment to listening to others and understanding what they are saying.
• There has been a shift in the focus of American writings on the pursuit of success.  Whereas success literature of our country's first 150 years focused on character - integrity, humility, temperance, etc. - the last 50 years' worth has been more self-centered, usually containing quick-fix tips on how to influence or intimidate others to get what you want.
• In order to understand ourselves, we must understand the lens through which we perceive the world.

So I'm reading this book and things are going well, when all of a sudden I hit a passage in which Covey warns against "succumb[ing] to growing secularism and cynicism," then professes his belief in natural laws that he believes have their source in God.  I start to slide to the defensive: Whoa, I don't want this Mormon rewiring my brain!  Maybe 7 Habits is to Mormonism what Dianetics is to Scientology!

Then I catch myself and think, What was that all about?

I've been a member of the ACLU and Americans United for Separation of Church and State for a few years now, so I'm always getting updates on the bullshit that the Religious Right tries to pull.  Since none of my friends are very religious, I probably get more exposure in general to the bad/crazy parts of organized religion than the good/sane parts.

Now, I share some of Christopher Hitchens's beliefs about religion's adverse effects on society, but I don't believe that "all religious belief is sinister and infantile" (as Hitchens once said), I don't want to ignore good advice just because it comes from a man of faith, and I certainly don't want to start thinking that all forms of worship are evil.

After all, I'm now a devout follower of GTD.

The Move, Part Two

Lucy & I are now two weeks into our cohabitation.  We've reconciled our inventories, and a few more items are going to go on the eBay/Craig's List/Freecycle chopping block.  Purging is my newfound love, but it has not replaced my lifelong passion: organization.  Luckily, the two complement each other nicely, and our ménage à trois has produced a sweet little living space.  Of course, it didn't hurt to have a girlfriend with excellent taste.

The other night, The Lady & I watched Fight Club and I was reminded of one of the great Tyler Durden lines: The things you own end up owning you.  This is never more apparent than when you move; even trying to get rid of your stuff becomes a burden (as I complained about in my last post).

At the end of the day, I'm glad to have an incentive to lighten the load.  I'm mentally streamlined - my psyche is now a dolphin.  Let's hope that this new dolphinness isn't countered by cable TV, which I'm enjoying for at home for the first time in 5 years, and which is more likely to turn one's psyche into algae.

Huge thanks to everyone who helped with the move!  The Honor Roll:

• Mom
• Dad
• Erika
• Lucy's mom
• Elliot
• Kevin
• Pam
• Jason
• Dan
• Sean

Also, check out this comic Lucy did about the move, in which she selflessly pretends that she's been the grouchy one over the course of the last few weeks.

The Move, Part One

Tomorrow morning, I'm hopping on a 6:55 AM flight to Boston, where I'll meet Lucy and her mom and then drive 2 hours to White River Junction, VT.  For the next 2 days, we'll be packing Lucy's stuff up and loading it into a van, and for 2 days after that we'll haul it all to Chicago.  On Tuesday, July 1st, we arrive in Chicago, load my stuff into the van, and bring it all to Logan Square for The Unpacking.  All able-bodied men & women who are willing to help will earn my unending gratitude - and, more importantly, will be fed with Lou Malnati's pizza and the beverage of your choice (beer included).

It's been 4 years since I last changed addresses, and there's one thing that has really surprised me above all else: it is HARD to get rid of your stuff in an ecologically friendly way!  Actually, let me modify that statement: it's not too hard, but it does take planning.  Selling stuff on eBay & Craig's List, giving things away on Freecycle, disposing of hazardous waste properly... all of these things require scheduling far in advance of the move.  It must have been a month ago that I started taking my clothes to Milwaukee Ave. to see if Crossroads or Buffalo Exchange would take them.  I've now reached the point where I'm so sick of looking at my own stuff and wondering why I have it - what the hell am I doing with 9 pairs of shoes, anyway? - that I'm about two boxloads away from renouncing all physical possessions and moving to India.  If the happiest man in the world did it, why shouldn't I?

 

Tuesday the 1st, big move-in party at my old place and then my new place, please come and join the fun!