The Redirection

Lucy recently moved her site to WordPress, and in the process of helping her move - tinkering, tweaking & tuning things behind the scenes - I realized I was jealous. From here forward, my blog will be hosted at johnhorstman.com. Thanks for reading, and please update your RSS readers.

Support autism research!

Last May, my brother Tyler and I encouraged dozens of our friends & family to donate to our team in Walk Now for Autism, a charity event planned by Autism Speaks.  Thanks to the support of those generous folks, our team contributed over $1,000 to autism research.

This May, I’m participating in Walk Now for the third time, and my goal is to beat last year’s fundraising total.

Autism has a higher profile now than ever before, due to increasing rates of diagnosis in children and debates over the causes of the disease.  Many new parents have been spooked by hearsay and flaky anecdotal “evidence” linking autism to vaccinations.  (The scientific community vastly agrees there is no connection.)  It’s easy to see why searches for the cause, and cure, have become more desperate: autism now affects 1 in every 110 American children, and 1 every 70 boys.  And those numbers are on the rise.

As the brother of an autistic adult, I know the toll autism takes on its victims and their families.  It’s essential that we increase our understanding of autism as soon as possible.

Please donate to my team here:

http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/chicago/as

Yes, I know that once again the minimum donation you can make on the site is $20.  If you can donate $20 or more, AWESOME, thank you!  If you want to contribute a smaller amount, I will still think you are a rad person and I will want to be your friend.  You can use the printable donation form to mail your payment, you can send me money via PayPal (paypal@johnhorstman.com) and I can donate it for you, or you can bring a donation to Lucy’s table at one of the following conventions:

• MoCCA Fest, April 10-11 in NYC
• C2E2, April 16-18 in Chicago, IL
• Stumptown Comics Fest, April 24-25 in Portland, OR
• TCAF, May 8-9 in Toronto, Canada

Thanks in advance for your help!  The walk is on Sunday, May 15th, and I’ll be sure to post an update before then.

Chicago Walk Now for Autism 2010 home page

Misery and Maximizers

John Maeda made a brilliant observation in his TED talk about simplicity.  To paraphrase: people like complexity in things they enjoy, and they hate complexity in things they dislike.  Yes!  Complexity in music & books captivates me, complexity in my tax returns makes me want to jump in front of a train.

In 2010, I’ll be trying to reduce some of the unnecessary complexities in my life.  As an organization freak & computer lover with a subconscious lust for complex systems, this won’t be easy, but I think Maeda’s point provides excellent guidance.

I’m also getting some terrific input from a book called The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz, a psychologist and professor at Swarthmore College.  The book aims to explain why a culture with greater freedom & variety than any other in history is causing people to be unhappier and less satisfied with their decisions.  In Chapter 4, Schwartz explains the difference between maximizers (those who must find the best possible choice for every decision) and satisficers (those who settle for good enough and don’t worry about the existence of better possibilities).  Guess which one correlates more strongly with less satisfaction with life, less happiness, less optimism, and more depression?  As a solid maximizer (as evaluated by the survey in the book), I wasn’t happy to learn the answer.

One recurring theme of the book: reducing the number of options often leads to greater satisfaction with a decision.  I think that’s something I can work with.

* * * * * * *

This week, the girl you see here turned 25.

You might think a 25-year-old should be more mature.  I blame her boyfriend for being a bad influence.

On sharing

Mike Doughty’s new album, Sad Man Happy Man, came out this week.  Mike has been one of my favorite singer/songwriters for years, so I have to pick up a copy.  Only one decision is preventing me from finalizing my purchase: Should I buy the physical CD or the mp3s?  There are a number of arguments for one side or the other, but for some reason I’m really focusing on one thing: Do I want to own a piece of plastic that will eventually end up in a landfill, or do I want to own the rights to data files that provide a lower fidelity experience but don’t require the manufacture and eventual disposal of physical materials?  Sure, it’s convenient that so many mp3s can fit on a portable player, but the environmental benefits of digital music files shouldn’t be ignored.

Music files can be purchased in innovative ways these days, too.  Lala.com, for example sells web songs, which play in your browser and only cost 10 cents.  Basically, Lala is selling rights to the music rather than music itself.  You can listen to your music as much as you want, and you don’t even need room in your apartment or on your hard drive to store the product.  (Bonus: Lala will also let you listen to any song in its catalog one time for free, and all users get their first 50 web songs free.)  In a way, it’s music as a service rather than a product.

I’m a big fan of this idea, mainly because it means people get to own less.  Car sharing companies like I-GO and Zipcar let people get by without owning a car.  Tool-lending libraries are springing up in cities nationwide.  Hell, I’m still surprised that so many people buy DVDs when movies are so cheap to rent via Blockbuster, Netflix & iTunes.

Well… I just bought Sad Man Happy Man on CD through Amazon, and it arrives in a week.  I’m sure it’ll spend the next month in heavy rotation on my computer, interspersed with my newly purchased web songs.

Pop curators

Pitchfork Media recently published a list of the top 500 songs of the millennium, along with several other retrospective lists covering the past 10 years.  These “top x” pop culture lists are bullshit in most cases, since the lists imply that the authors are definitive authorities on purely subjective matter.  These lists might be relevant if they were compiled as “most influential,” simply because influence is easier to assess than quality (though it’s still a fuzzy science).  Instead, they usually come across as snobby and irrelevant.  Also, the evaluation criteria is usually unpublished or nonexistent; if Pitchfork posted their criteria somewhere, I couldn’t find it after about 10 minutes of searching.

Still, I don’t mind throwing out the rankings and using this list as a general guide to the music of the ‘00s.  Ryan McGinness, one of my favorite visual artists, has a great quote from a 2005 interview in Giant Robot in which he discusses the role of the curator.

Everyone has a word processor and can cut and paste, so that has created more "writers."  With digital video you have more "filmmakers."  We have "musicians" who can't even read music.  Ultimately, when you broaden any field, the whole of the output becomes diluted, and it's more and more difficult to separate the extraordinary from the average.  This is why the role of the curator or DJ is becoming more and more important.

I trust Pitchfork as a filter through which I get my music, but the whole “official list” thing really gets under my skin, no matter what the context or medium.

Sometimes I wonder if young people are so compelled to passionately argue over & defend their preferences in music, movies, art, etc. because these are the few areas in which they can claim “expertise.”  In our 20’s, most of us aren’t really experts in anything, so we have to construct pride in areas of personal preference - which is easy to do since our preferences can never be objectively proven or disproven.  Not saying this is the case for everyone, just speculating that this is a factor for some.

And of course, since I felt compelled to write a blog post about a pop music list, I’m obviously not above this behavior.

Rerouting

In July, I went to Paris.  Physically and mentally.  And with my girlfriend.  Amazing Paris comic journal courtesy of Lucy Knisley.

Lengthy vacations allow us to pull up the anchor and drift for a bit.  The difference between today’s Johnny and June 2009 Johnny is probably greater than the difference between June 2009 Johnny and the Johnny of one year prior, and not just in fromage content.

As such, New Johnny’s in charge now, and he’s plotted a new course for the ship.

For starters, I’m cleaning house.  Earlier tonight, I dropped a load of clothes and rarely-used household items at a local non-profit resale shop that funds LGBT services.  (If anyone needs a white noise machine or a shaving cream warmer, hit up the Brown Elephant on Halsted.)  More of my apartment detritus is going up on eBay later this week.  A friend is stopping by tomorrow to pick up half a dozen dress shirts that have been too big for my scrawny frame since the first day I bought them; their departure is long overdue.

I’ve also begun making changes in my computer use.  Patton Oswalt said in his recent AV Club interview, “You can replace the internet with five really smart friends,” and wow, there are a lot of things I like about that brief quote.  As a technophile, mitigating my habitual and at times junkie-like interaction with personal technology is a difficult and evolving process, but I’ve made a few inroads.  One big help: Leechblock, a Firefox extension that lets you lock yourself out of websites you choose, during time frames you choose.  I’ve configured it to keep me away from Gmail, Facebook, Twitter, and several other sites after 9 PM.  It also locks me out of certain sites after a time limit of my choosing; this keeps me from spending all day on 4chan or some other such internet sinkhole.  Per Aldous Huxley via Neil Postman, I’ve ruined many hours on the internet, and I’d really, really like that to stop.

This post will have to end here.  I’m approaching the dangerously recursive territory of losing sleep to spend time on the computer writing a blog about how I should spend less time on the computer.

In Which I Am Maybe Unmasked As Sexist?

Last week, Lucy told me about The Bechdel Rule, and I’ve been fascinated by it ever since.  Actually, I’m not fascinated by the rule itself, but rather by how powerful a statement it makes despite its simplicity.

Alison Bechdel is a comic artist, creator of the long-running strip Dykes To Watch Out For and the autobiography Fun Home, which was nominated for numerous awards and appeared on many of 2006’s best book of the year lists.  The Bechdel Rule, as it is informally named (though Bechdel credits a friend with the concept), appears in a DTWOF strip circa 1985.  Two lesbians are walking past a movie theater, and one shares her criteria for seeing a movie.  “One, it must have at least two women in it who, two, talk to each other about, three, something besides a man.”

Sounds simple, right?  OK, everyone reading this right now: try to think of how many movies you’ve seen that meet these three criteria.

I’ll tell you right now, that number is pretty small in my case.  When Lucy & I scanned our DVD collection, we found four (4!) movies out of roughly 50 or 60 that stood up to The Bechdel Rule.

One conclusion that was immediately apparent was how my demographics – white male from the suburbs – affect my choice in movies.  Of course, there are other factors at work, such as the type of movies Hollywood makes, which movies are selected for screening by local cinemas, etc.  Still, I feel vaguely guilty over my somewhat sexist entertainment track record.

This train of thought is like an offshoot of the current controversy over some statements made by Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.  She’s discussed how her background informs her decisions as a judge, and for some reason this is a big deal?  Where was the outrage from the Right when Samuel Alito said the following during his confirmation hearing:

When I get a case about discrimination, I have to think about people in my own family who suffered discrimination because of their ethnic background or because of religion or because of gender.  And I do take that into account.

That quote was recently used in a Salon.com article; hit the link to see Alito’s full statement defending the empathy he draws from his personal background.  In fact, just read that whole article: like The Bechdel Rule, it’s short, but it packs a punch.

Support autism research!

Last May, I joined 17,000 walkers on Soldier Field for Chicago’s Walk Now for Autism.  Together we raised almost $1.5 million to support autism research and to raise awareness about this increasingly common disorder.  (One in every 150 kids born today is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder.)  I was proud to raise $400 in honor of my older brother, Luke, and I’m really grateful to all those who contributed to this cause.  Seriously!  So grateful!

This year, I’m trying to push myself a little further.  My brother Tyler and I have set a combined goal of $1,000 for this year’s event.  If you take a look at our current total, you’ll see that we have a long way to go (on account of the fact that we haven’t promoted this thing at all so far).  Please help us reach that goal!  Anything you can give will be appreciated, probably more than you’d expect.  I will appreciate you so much that it might make you a little uncomfortable.

Please donate to my page here:

http://www.walknowforautism.org/chicago/johnhorstman

Yes, I know that the minimum donation you can make on the site is $20.  If you can donate $20 or more, AWESOME, thank you!  If you want to contribute a smaller amount, I will still think you are a rad person.  You can use the printable donation form to mail your payment, you can send me money via PayPal (paypal@johnhorstman.com) and I can donate it for you, or you can bring a donation to Lucy’s table at the Stumptown Comics Fest in Portland, OR, this weekend, where I’ll be working as a booth babe.

Thanks in advance for your help!  The walk is on May 16th, I’ll be sure to post an update before then.

Chicago Walk Now for Autism 2009 home page

Big news!… that I can’t talk about right now

Hi, everyone.  I have some big deal, hot shit, life-altering news that I’d like to talk about, but it’s in my best interests not to go postin’ all over the interwebs about it.  Alas, this is a teaser post.  Individual inquiries about said news, addressed directly to me via email or face to face, are welcomed.

Since the news hit, I’ve been indulging in two of the biggest technology-enabled time wasters in existence: Facebook and Twitter.  Neither of these fads really caught on with me until I started desperately seeking distractions.  Boy, do I ever understand them now.

I also got my hands on Final Fantasy XII for PlayStation 2 – or rather, it got its hands on me.  It sucks me in for 3- or 4-hour stretches from which I emerge bleary-eyed and delirious.  I’m filled with shame at the amount of time I’m investing in an activity that provides me with no value.  It’s not even like I find it very entertaining, which should be the sole motivating factor for playing a video game.  I’m simply driven by a sick compulsion to complete the game’s assigned tasks one at a time, to enjoy that gratification of achieving something.  The hardcore role playing gamer in me just loves watching my characters’ numbers (strength, vitality, etc.) go up.

My whole point in starting a game of FFXII was to indulge myself for a little while, but I’m not enjoying it the way that I’d hoped.  Hard to say if this is due to the caliber of the game or to my inability to let myself enjoy something that doesn’t make me a better person – and God, what a lame person I’d be if the cause turned out to be the latter.  Enjoying something for enjoyment’s sake is what indulging is all about.

* * * * * * *

Hey, I’m going to be in Pittsburgh this weekend.  What should I do there?

The burden of choice

Lately I’ve been mining the archives of presentations at the annual TED conference.  Each 20-minute talk addresses a subject from the field of technology, entertainment, or design, and many are presented by geniuses: Stephen Hawking and Frank Gehry’s talks are lined up in my downloads right now.  Three of the talks that I watched recently share a common theme: choice.  Their juxtaposition in my queue was coincidental, but maybe I selected them through a subconscious desire to excuse my occasionally lousy decision-making skills.  (I tend to vacillate endlessly and research exhaustively when presented with an important decision, such as which new brand of toothpaste to try.)

Barry Schwartz – The paradox of choice

More options don’t always result in greater satisfaction.  In this talk, Schwartz discusses the hidden costs that come with freedom of choice.  In his words, they are:

1. Regret and anticipated regret
2. Opportunity costs
3. Escalation of expectations
4. Self-blame

There’s an excellent anecdote in there about buying jeans that illustrates his point perfectly.

Malcolm Gladwell – What we can learn from spaghetti sauce

Gladwell explains how experimental psychologist Howard Moskowitz handles the difficult task of figuring out what we want when we don’t really know what we want, and how companies use the results to provide us with choices that didn’t previously exist.

If I asked all of you, for example, in this room what you want in a coffee, you know what you’d say?  Every one of you would say, “I want a dark, rich, hearty roast.” … What percentage of you actually like a dark, rich, hearty roast?  According to Howard, somewhere between 25 and 27 percent.  Most of you like milky, wheat coffee.  But you will never ever say to someone who asks you what you want that I want a milky, wheat coffee.

David Pogue – When it comes to tech, simplicity sells

Pogue argues convincingly that extra features commonly hurt tech products.  I agree wholeheartedly, as this idea has fueled my recent interest in interaction design.  My favorite part comes at the end, when Pogue praises the latest version of his favorite speech recognition software.  The new version added no new features; the company just greatly improved the speech recognition accuracy and made the software much more enjoyable to use.

* * * * * * *

PS – Our houseguests this week are Lucy’s comics friend Erika Moen (who does the fabulous webcomic DAR, please check it out) and her husband, Matt Nolan.  To see Erika interview Lucy, check out The Erika Moen Show on Ustream.

Stories of the Road, issue 33: The Great Gray North

This blog post is long overdue, but with good reason.  My latest client is headquartered in Vancouver, a city that's been on my top destination list for quite a while.  I was determined to make the best of my time there, thus I resolved to spend my weeknights seeing Vancouver rather than writing about it.

I'm never sure how much my feelings about a new city are influenced by my predispositions.  I've long imagined Vancouver as a Canadian San Francisco, so I had an easy time spotting similarities: the waterfront geography, the West-coast attitudes, the seafood-heavy menus.  There was even a dense fog (which the locals repeatedly assured me was uncharacteristic) languishing in the streets for most of my stay, reinforcing the impression that Vancouver was separated at birth from its American counterpart.

Vancouver's air is charged with the same ineffable energy found in other distinguished metropolitan locations.  I felt it as I walked to pick up dinner after work, wearing a smile that seemed to spring from my chest cavity.  I'm not a spiritual man, but I'm positive that some cities radiate a metaphysical verve yet undefined by science.

The travel requirements for this project were aggressive: Sunday night arrival and Friday afternoon departure for four weeks straight.  Lucy flew in for a ski weekend in between.  I tested my snowboarding skills, which were almost so rusty as to be worthless.  After three hours of scraping down the face of Grouse Mountain in thrift-store snowpants, my ass was ready to mutiny.

The food quality was top notch throughout town.  The sushi restaurant population downtown seems too large to be sustainable.  I never had a bad piece of fish in my time there, and I'm certain that my blood now contains enough mercury to manufacture several thermometers.  Oh, and let's not forget the poutine.

Why hasn't America appropriated this dish yet?  It certainly meets our minimum legal requirements for sodium, cheese, and fried food content.

Kudos to monstro (AKA Steve Wolfhard) and his friends for showing us a good time at Gyoza King.  Lucy drew a fantastic Vancouver travel journal when she vacationed with her dad last fall, so I have to plug it one more time.

Externalizing my brainwaves

For starters, new blog with zee puppets.

 

* * * * * * *

It's a new year, folks!  Did you rock in 2008?  Did you suck?  Yes, you sucked?  Is it time to stop sucking so much?  There are a number of things I'd like to work on in 2009: regrowing an attention span, not being a jerk to my mom when she asks me computer questions (ugh, so bad at this... sorry, Ma), getting more sleep like I promise myself I'm going to do EVERY SINGLE YEAR...

I'd also like to do a better job getting my thoughts in order.  These days, it feels like I keep ideas in too many places.  Here are some (not all) of the ways that I'm recording the thoughts that are worth saving - in other words, these are notes about my notes.

 

Text files (Google Docs & Microsoft Word)

All-purpose, simple, effective.  I use them for all sorts of lists, like words I love (most recent addition: zaftig) or blog ideas.  Lately I'm using Google Docs more often for the simple interface and the ability to view the files at any time from my iPhone.

 

Mind maps

Long my preferred method of choice for taking notes at work, via the freeware Java application Freemind (shown in the screenshot).  Mind maps make connections between ideas much more visual.  They're perfect for concepts with a hierarchical structure, which might be why I've found them so useful for tracking projects at the office.

 

Google Notebook

Great for capturing info on the web, especially with the Firefox Google Notebook extension: highlight some text, right click, and choose "Note this"; the text is recorded in your notebook, along with the web page title, a link to the page, and the date the note was recorded.  Tagging and search capabilities help you track things down, so you don't lose track of that great Churchill quote you wrote down a few months ago.

 

legal pads

I keep one at my desk and one on my nightstand for writing down the stuff that pops into my head right before falling asleep.  It's easier to relax when you don't have to worry whether or not you'll remember to add gummy bears to the grocery list for your fancy dinner party tomorrow; write it down and fall asleep with a clear mind.

 

back pages of books

Only done this a few times with my non-fiction reading.  It's nice having the notes on hand whenever I'm reading, and I try to fit them all on a single page that I can reference quickly.

 

I'm really interested to hear anyone's suggestions on this topic, so fire away.

Stories of the Road returns soon with a new international edition!

My only post about the new Malcolm Gladwell book, I promise

As Lucy's comic suggests, I'm a huge Malcolm Gladwell fan.  I could blog my thoughts on almost every chapter in his latest book, Outliers, but I'm not sure I'd be able to curb my desire to just copy the book into my blog verbatim in an attempt to expose more people to his fascinating socio-economic hypotheses, so I'll try to keep it brief.  Here are a few points of interest from his recent writings.

• Convergence tests & divergence tests

Many of the tests we take in school can be categorized as a convergence test.  For example, on a multiple choice test, a list of possibilities are presented for each question, and you have to converge upon the correct answer.  A divergence test, on the other hand, requires your mind to move in as many different directions as possible.  In the example used in Outliers, students are asked to write down as many different uses as they can think of for two objects: a brick and a blanket.  Gladwell discusses these testing methods while writing about different kinds of intelligence, and uses them to explain why affirmative action graduates of Michigan's law school, who didn't perform as well academically as other students, enjoy careers that are every bit as successful as their white counterparts.  In the same chapter, he convincingly suggests that Harvard should introduce a lottery structure to its admissions process.

• Unconventional comparisons

In Gladwell's latest New Yorker article, he likens the selection of public school teachers to the selection of NFL quarterbacks.  Blogging about the response to this article, he espouses the value of drawing parallels between seemingly unconnected things.

"...non-symetrical comparisons are far more interesting and thought-provoking than symetrical comparisons. If I wrote a piece about how finding good point guards in the NBA was a lot like finding good quarterbacks in the NFL, the comparison would be exact. And as a result, it would be relatively useless.  What new light does the addition of a second, identical example shed on the first?"

This pretty well summarizes why I find Gladwell's work so interesting: he's good at combining ideas in previously unrecognized ways.  Would that I had such insight.  When I was younger, I was amazed at how musicians, scientists, and other creative minds were able to produce brilliance seemingly out of nothing.  The older I get, the more often I see that breakthrough discoveries or artistic achievements are the result of (or the combination of) many preceding accomplishments & influences.  My definition of creativity has been reshaped with time.

Ser vs. Estar

The Spanish language has two verbs that mean "to be."  To generalize, estar is used to indicate location or a temporary state.

John está en el cuarto de baño, probablemente el juego de Riesgo en su iPhone.
John is in the bathroom, probably playing Risk on his iPhone.

Ser is used (again, generally) when describing a more permanent state of being, such as physical attributes or personality traits.

John es una locura de Taco Bell, aunque él sabe que es casi lo peor que puede poner en su cuerpo.
John is crazy for Taco Bell, even though he knows it's pretty much the worst thing that you can put in your body.

This differentiation between a temporary and permanent "to be" verb becomes especially interesting to me in the context of trying to change onself.  There are certain things I've been terrible at for my whole life to date, but I hate to think that they will plague me until the end of my days.

For example, I am a Nail Biter (yes, capital N, capital B).  Always have been, probably always will be.  While I had braces for three years I completely stopped, and when they were removed I picked up right where I left off.  Yet, nearly every day that I catch myself indulging in this habit, I say to myself, "Enough!  This is it, no more nail biting FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, starting right now."

I usually break this pledge within five minutes.  Then re-make it five minutes after that.

Still, I can occasionally claim a victory against myself.  Two months ago, I joined a gym and told myself that I'd never let that bully at the beach kick sand in my face again.  Since then, thanks to my weightlifting regimen, I've gained 10 pounds - which may not sound like much to you, but is actually a Herculean accomplishment given my physique.  Sure, only some of that weight can be attributed to muscle gain while the rest comes from a nascent belly paunch and my relentlessly growing mop of hair; it feels good to know that I'm capable of demonstrating the discipline required to institute a positive change in my life.

John es un perezoso por lo general una criatura de la costumbre, aunque de vez en cuando le va a sorprender a sí mismo.
John is a usually a lazy creature of habit, though occasionally he will surprise himself.

Cautiously optimistic vs. caustically homophobic

From Obama election night rally 2008-11-04

Like most Democrats, progressives, and young people out there, I was elated when CNN announced that Barack Obama had won the presidency.  Obama ran an outstanding campaign and made a lot of great promises.  Most of my friends have astronomically large expectations of our president-elect.  It will be interesting to see how the next four years play out, especially with a firmly Democratic Congress.  I'm optimistic, but wary.  The sooner that first piece of progressive legislation comes out of the White House, the sooner I really believe that this administration is different from George W. Bush's.  Maybe it's been too long since I had faith in our federal government.

My favorite shot from the celebration: Jesse Jackson weeping.

Photo from Getty Images by AFP/Getty Images

My favorite part of Obama's acceptance speech: his inclusion of gays in a list of proud American demographics.

"Its the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America."

By the way, California: What the hell?  Almost 6 million of you voted Yes on Proposition 8?!  I'm not surprised to hear this from Florida, but you, California?  Ugh.  Lucy and I are planning to join a Prop 8 protest downtown on Saturday the 15th.  Let me know if you're interested in coming.

Brief video of Lucy, Kelly, Joe, and I listening to the beginning of Obama's victory speech in Grant Park, along with about 240,000 other people:

From Obama election night rally 2008-11-04

The closest I've come to a long, protracted death

When a dermatologist told me a few weeks ago that I should get a biopsy for a mole on my head, I never seriously entertained the idea that I had skin cancer.  I didn't lose any sleep playing out worst-case scenarios in my head (though I did lose sleep trying to lie down in a way that kept the stitches in my head off my pillow).  I thought so little of the matter that I didn't even mention it to most of my friends & coworkers.  So why was I so relieved when I got the call telling me that my test results were all negative?

No problem imagining worst-case scenarios after that call.  Suddenly, I couldn't do anything but think about how different my life would have been from that point forward if the test results were different.

More than 1,000,000 new cases of skin cancer are diagnosed in the US each year, so why not me?  I love biking and reading in the sun when the weather's nice.  I'm an occasional smoker and consumer of processed foods.  My mom survived a brush with cancer a few years back; that certainly doesn't help my odds.

Anyway, from here forward, I plan to spend the majority of my time indoors, with the shades drawn, wearing a raincoat, a large floppy old lady hat, and sunglasses.

Here's to a clean bill of health!

Stories of the Road #32: The Lost Post

Hi, all.  It turns out that my work didn't appreciate my last post, which combined the company name and booze, drinking, etc. in such a way that my blog was spotted by their saved Google searches, and I was asked to take it down.  Here are the bonus items from the bottom of the post.

1. Quimby's is hosting a release party for Lucy's book on Tuesday, Oct 14th, starting at 7 PM.  If you're reading this, you should totally come.  Lucy's been busting her ass putting together the presentation for her book tour and Quimby's will be the debut performance.  Come!  Seriously!
2. Lucy & Johnny puppet blog #2 is here!

Stories of the Road, issue 31: The Fonts of Scottsdale

The Sunday night before my first trip to Arizona, I checked the local temperature in Scottsdale at 10 PM.  It was 95 degrees.

Luckily, it's a dry heat, and yes, that makes a difference.  One of the locals told me that their heat index sometimes drops below the real temperature.  This is unheard of in Chicago, where humidity is a malevolent force and the heat index can be likened to the Terror Alert Level (except you actually give a shit about the heat index).

Arizona's insect population is more hoary and nightmarish than that of any state I've visited so far.  My coworker went househunting in the area and spotted three black widows in a single home, nearly walking face-first into a web on the way in the front door.  (An indigenous welcome mat, maybe?)  Housing divisions invade areas with high scorpion populations, but the original tenants are too stubborn to move.  Scorpions glow under black light, and many new homeowners are surprised by what turns up in a black light scan of the backyard.

After hearing stories like these, I was afraid to sit on the ground to stretch after my evening run.  I could only imagine how welcoming the open leg of my shorts looks to a scorpion.

The local flora are no more benign.  I gently touched the spines of a cool-looking cactus and my friend laughed condescendingly before describing the skin irritation and inflammation those spines can cause.  Chill out, Arizona nature!

Two weeks into this assignment, I'm starting to see why people live here: the evenings are 75 degrees and usually rainless, and locals tell me that this moderate weather sticks around all winter while snow plows patrol the streets of Chicago.  Summer precipitation comes in the form of thunderheads that rain furiously for 15 minutes but put on a spectacular lightning show as a prologue and epilogue to their visit.  The buildings are new and polished, and their low profile allows for fantastic views of extended sunsets.

The Southwestern aesthetic is ubiquitous.  Color schemes waver within the bounds of beige and red.  Most of the fonts look like they were lifted from a Chili's menu.  Sand, rocks, and intimidating cacti are the norm.

 

Two quick plugs:

1. Lucy's book, French Milk, is now available for pre-order on Amazon.com!  The new & improved version has lots more pages and contains even more John Horstman than before.  How much more?  Buy it and see!
2. My friend Lane made a 3-minute film for the Chicago Film Race, and because his film is rad it was picked to be one of the top 10 finalists.  Please watch it and hopefully vote for it here.  It's titled "Tomorrow."  Click on the picture of the sunrise.

Writing about writing

Hi, all.  About two weeks ago, my lungs turned into the La Brea tar pits, and I've been a wheezing bag of slime ever since.  Luckily, in between games of Super Mario Galaxy and meals of greasy breakfast foods, I've found a few interesting things to read.  Here are two pieces I'd recommend to anyone interested in dusting off the old quill and inkwell.

Through Merlin Mann's wonderful blog on 43folders.com, I found a short essay by Kurt Vonnegut entitled, "How to Write With Style."  The entire article is here and you can read it in 5 minutes if you don't get distracted - more difficult than it sounds while at your computer, I know - but I'll summarize it for the convenience of those short on time or up too late (like me).

1. Find a subject you care about
2. Do not ramble, though
3. Keep it simple
4. Have guts to cut
5. Sound like yourself
6. Say what you mean
7. Pity the readers

My favorite line from the piece is the last paragraph for point 5:

I myself find that I trust my own writing most, and others seem to trust it most, too, when I sound most like a person from Indianapolis, which is what I am. What alternatives do I have? The one most vehemently recommended by teachers has no doubt been pressed on you, as well: to write like cultivated Englishmen of a century or more ago.

For those with lengthier attention spans, take a look at The Elements of Style, by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White.  (Coincidentally, I was about halfway through this book when I read the Vonnegut essay, which recommends Elements of Style at the end.)  The advice is more mechanical & dry: omit needless words, use the active voice, keep related words together, etc.  These guidelines are linked by the book's central theme: writing should be clear and vigorous.  Strunk best expresses this idea with four words, elegantly practicing what he preaches: every word must tell.  There's also a great analogy in there about how there are no unnecessary lines in a drawing, so why should there be unnecessary words in a book; unfortunately, my copy of the book is 1,700 miles away right now (Stories of the Road returns soon!) so I can't quote it exactly.

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Lucy & I collaborated on a comic!  I wrote it based on a true story about our internet French lessons.  Guess which version is mine and which is hers.

Efficiency expert in training

OK, so I've blogged about productivity a few times before.  This time, though, I'm going to pass along some useful information instead of just talking about how great GTD is.  Here are three of my favorite efficiency tips from three of my favorite efficiency gurus.

1. Batch your tasks (from Tim Ferriss's The 4-Hour Workweek) - This one is pretty intuitive: buy all your groceries at the same store, run all your errands on the same car trip, cook enough food at once that you can eat the leftovers for days, etc.  Extending this idea to the web, you could also write all of your email replies in one sitting or check for updates to your favorite sites all at once, and no more than once a day for either of these activities.
2. Process your email inbox to zero (from Merlin Mann's Inbox Zero talk) - My personal email inbox currently contains zero emails.  Same for my work inbox.  Every time you check your email, process every single message and clear out your inbox.  Processing means performing one of five actions: delete, delegate, respond, defer, do.  As Merlin says, deleting is the most underused of these options.
3. Define your next action (from David Allen's GTD) - For every item on your to-do list, write down the next physical action you must take in order to "do" that item.  Let's say you lost your driver's license today, like I did (true story).  Instead of "renew driver's license," your to-do list would first contain "look up nearest DMV on internet," then once that was complete, "call DMV at 312-793-1010 to find out what to bring to get new driver's license."  This is great advice for unsticking a project that has been stuck for a while.

Also, puppets!  Lucy & I made this video before she left for vacation.  First in a series, maybe?